I am sitting here smugly sporting an August tan in March. The smug part is down to three factors. Firstly, I don’t smell of fake tan in the slightest. Secondly, I am streak-free. Thirdly, I haven’t damaged my skin one iota to achieve this shade. This tan is 100% out the bottle, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
Forget everything the experimental years of fake tan taught you. I had to wilfully suspend disbelief that I could be a ‘3’ after six months of hibernation, and it took rather a lot of courage on my part to walk down a drizzly street on Saturday morning to Heidi Klein for a spray tan. I had a 30th dinner party that evening, things could have got ugly.
As it turns out, they didn’t. On entering the shop I found myself surrounded by beautiful holiday accessories and instantly felt uplifted. When the lovely assistant offered me a variety of scents to go with my tan (I chose coconut lime, delicious) I knew someone behind this operation had the smarts.

I’m not a jot ashamed that I did actually lie today when asked where I’d been holidaying. You see, a little often isn’t quite enough and I have turned to Green People’s award-winning self tan lotion to keep up this shade. This lotion keeps up with the green and organic principles you would want from a product, whilst delivering a streak-free tan. It was seriously easy to apply (I just covered myself in the stuff, like moisturiser) and I’m now a convert. For my face, there’s the brilliant Xen-Tan Face Tanner Luxe. This works well as a face moisturiser and will give an instant glow – it’s rumoured to have been Middleton’s choice tan for the big day.
I used to think fake tan would make me look like Magda out of There’s Something About Mary but will now be fake tanning throughout the year, especially as I can keep it up without applying nasties to my skin. I will keep mum as to how I achieved it in the future though, to friends and foes. Beauty secrets ought to be kept secret, except from you readers, of course.





