Violent lips. That’s right, violent. Not violet. I needed to reread the label a few times before I realised that this company is really hammering home the effect this temporary lip tattoo will have. It therefore took some consideration before applying as to where I would like to wear my gold glittery lips. Is it acceptable to visit the cinema in such an avant-garde fashion? Would red and white polka dotted lips be the ticket for a Friday night? It was all a little new to me and thought it may be a bit much, even in the sometimes rad west London crowd. I decided this would have to be a team effort, so at least if it all went awry I would have a fun memory from my experimentation.
Here’s how it went:
1) ED and I watched the tutorial online. It looked easy-peasy, much like applying those temporary tattoos from childhood – cut them to the shape your lip and then peel the plastic off and water them on.
2) We got in a stick of bother with the lip template. It said to cut from the sides and bottom but the lips were enormous. We were good girls and stuck to instructions.
3) But being good didn’t pay off here… When I applied the upper lip the outer edges didn’t quite stick so ED ended up with a black centre to her lip, like a little black moustache.
4) For round two we decided to cut into a shape we felt looked like her lip. This time, it worked. Ish. Her lips were covered, but so was the surrounding skin. We both felt fools, the Americans in the video made it look very easy.
5) Lips on, we took a snap of ED before they frayed in the corners from our incessant giggling. It took enormous self-control on her part to produce this picture so please take a moment to appreciate it.
6) We turned to my lips. All much easier the third and fourth time round. But same problem with lip shape, as you will see from the red polka-dotted ones which, had they fit my lips, would have been a very fun look for the summer (I know I am pouting in the photo, but it isn’t vanity – promise… If you look closely, yo
u will see this was a necessity to keep them from cracking more in the corners). This would not be the case with the gold Glitterati pair, ever – these were hideous on me and made me look like a cross between the undead and a 90’s adult film star.
Our conclusion? It is a good deal of fun and a novelty way to approach a fancy dress event, or achieve high-octane lips. ED made the point that if she scored with these on they may be a little unpleasant for the kissee – this is very much the case. They feel a little plastic to the touch so if you do manage to get them on in place and woo a fellow, make sure you do whip them off pre-smooch. It may seem od
d to pull off your lips at such a moment but, trust me, it would be worse to leave them on. All things considered, I would say do try these either if you’re looking for a lip which really packs a punch, if you’re a teenager, or if you’re Jessie J, natch. If not, stick to lipstick.